... now they must watch their abundance of luxuries fall away, making room for the tools of survival, and witness this time of relative peace wither into the same fears that harper's ballads had warned them about for generations.
 
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Caoimhe

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PostSubject: Dreams fade (open)   Mon Jan 05, 2015 8:23 pm



The day seemed to match her mood as it was a gray, drab color. The air felt stagnant as if to make it harder to breathe. There was no consolation for her today, not inside the halls of her home. Rihan had done everything to make Telgar River Hold a special place for her and she did feel like she could belong there but as with any marriage there were expectations. These expectations inevitably included the one thing she seemed unable to fulfill. The one thing she had always believed and known she would have in her life, no matter who she married.

Children were supposed to secure her place as a Lady. They were supposed to be easy for young women to conceive although that failed to be the problem. She conceived easily enough but since that infection in her womb, it seemed she would not be able to carry to term. With every miscarriage, she felt her future dwindle away. She felt her own self worth receding and her hope fading.

Holding the basket she had brought in one of her gloved, slender hands, she walked to where she had the herbs for the infirmary planted. Sometimes it helped to do tasks she was good at, instead of moping about indoors anyway. Eolyn pulled her cloak around her more tightly, feeling the slightest shiver go down her back.

With great care, she used a tool to snip the herbs from their place and put them in the basket. Healing was something she could at least enjoy a little, since she had been advised against riding runners for a while. She did whatever the Healers thought was best because she would do anything, anything at all to give Rihan the heir he deserved. She didn't want to be what stood in the way of him and his future.

Thoughts of that nature continued. There were only so many courses of action to follow from here and she was pretty sure, she hated all of them. Was it asking too much to have a family with the man she loved?


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:01 pm




Though the sun was at its zenith and the weather had not yet become cold by Telgar standards, the atmosphere seemed bleak given the recent miscarriage of another baby by the Lady Holder. Within the Hold's walls the mood was most noticeable, as there were many who loved Eolyn and Rihan both, and thus shared in their sorrows.

Kazage had hoped then, that after his meeting with Rihan and Telgar River Hold's other steward, Drien, that something more may have come of the recent loss, but Rihan had refused to speak of it -as if avoiding such a serious discussion would make it disappear. Kazage almost scoffed aloud, but he had seen the sorrow in Rihan's eyes and could tell that it troubled the man far more than he would let on in the presence of others. Perhaps more than he would even admit to his own wife.

Anyway, while they were together, hold concerns had been shared and some form of resolution discussed by he, Rihan and Drien, all three, but no one seemed to want to talk about the state of Rihan's marriage, and that even after multiple conceptions, had not been consummated by the provision of offspring. Sure, one could argue they had an indefinite amount of time for that all to happen between now and whenever it was time Rihan to become Telgar's Lord, but that did not remove the concern that Eolyn seemed unlikely to be the woman who would provide that for him.

Well, at least it didn't diminish the concern in his own mind. Rihan however, had shown unfaltering confidence and unwavering love for his wife, seeming increasingly depressed over the matter, but no less resilient in light of things. There was no getting around it. In the end, Kazage was sure that Rihan would never abandon her, even if pressured by his father. For that reason, he would just have to try something else to resolve the matter.


Leaving Lord Rihan's counsel with all but one order of the day resolved, Kazage swept through the courtyard, planning on taking the path home that just so happened to lead him past the herb garden. Footfalls pausing as he took in the form of the Lady Holder bent there, snipping fresh herbs, the man felt a shallow sense of pity come over him. Though he had no particular liking or hatred for the woman either way, she was married to his cousin and by all appearances, had been trying to give Telgar an heir for the next generation. Who else was to be held at fault though, if she could not carry to term? Certainly not Rihan.

Regardless of fault however, the simple fact stood that if Eolyn remained married to Rihan and Rihan would not conceive outside of his marriage, Telgar may never have another heir. For a man like Kazage that was probably a good thing. Should Rihan see Kazage fit to reinstate his official position in relation to the Blood of Telgar, if Telgar had no other heir, that just meant it would be all the easier for him to claim a right as Telgar's next Lord Holder should Lord Matoi pass away. Especially if it was well known that Eolyn was incapable of giving birth to a child. Their marriage could be annulled and Telgar's relationship with Igen could revert back to its previous tenuous, gray peace. People would feel even more uncertain about the future and Rihan would be harder pressed to keep the favour of Telgar's citizens; and there was already upheaval on one front, with the rebels -though that wasn't all Rihan's problem yet. That problem rested on the shoulders of his father, still.

Either way, Kazage should have relished the fact that there'd been this continuing hardship in light of Eolyn's multiple miscarriages. Perhaps in a rare moment of odd consideration for his cousin then, the thought crossed his mind that perhaps if he gave Eolyn the right encouragement she would leave Rihan instead, and give him another chance to carry on Telgar's legacy through another marriage. If one looked at the marriage as strictly business opportunity, that would be the best course of action in Rihan's case.

The reason that he thought to protect Rihan's -and perhaps Telgar's- current interests then, was because it seemed a little unfair to be competing against Rihan when he was at a disadvantage. Though, if he considered his own situation, Kazage was also at a disadvantage, so he could just level the playing field a bit, but that would also make it more obvious that he may have his own plans for the future. Not to mention, considering how deeply Rihan cared for his wife, he doubted that the man would want to continue living without her. If she did leave him, he things could just turn out all the better in the long run. Rihan might just end up the empty shell of a man, making it easier to overtake him. But, thus far, everything was up to speculation.

Likewise, neglecting Rihan of the love of his life may have satisfied Kazage in his jealous moments. Because Rihan had something that Kazage did not; and that was something that would be difficult for him to obtain indeed: a wife. Though, Kazage wasn't a deeply jealous type.

Not like it hadn't all crossed his mind before, though. Kazage was clever, and had a way about foreseeing potential events and making ready to react to them even before they happened. That's one reason he'd survived as long as he had with his great amount of ambition. Without that ability of foresight, he'd probably already be dead.


Another breeze ruffled the Steward's hair which shone under the sun with fair highlights, as he turned to Eolyn, making his way toward her. Soft were his footsteps, but even had his voice carried with it some measure of compassion, the words must have seemed hard on the ears.

"It is becoming a familiar scenario, coming across you here, and to find out again that Telgar still has no heir. I am sorry for your loss, truly, because Rihan also grieves. That puts my heart in discord knowing that he does not have the heart to conceive outside the marriage bed."

Watching the woman, he was ready to meet her eyes with renewed cold consideration.

"As a Steward it worries me. For the sake of the future of Telgar, just as much as for the sake of my cousin,... I have to ask what you intend to do if things continue like this? It will bring even greater hardship on Rihan in the future. Telgar and Igen..." Breaking the thought off there before reminding her more poignantly the implications of not bearing Rihan an heir. That, she was probably already well aware of, even without his input.

The Steward turned his attention elsewhere for a moment, thinking to take out his hand fan, giving his hands something to do while he felt anxious. A sigh came to him, and he turned aside from his Lady Holder altogether, letting the anxious energy escape him through his grip on the yellow fan. His fingers played over its ribs, easing it open part way and then closed again, out of pure idleness.

"What should I think?" Voice dropping, he let on his further concern in what was barely more audible than a whisper, "Rihan will do nothing, but it is Telgar who will suffer. Telgar already fights on one front and shouldn't have to face more uncertainty. Would you wish that upon him? Do you love him enough, are you dutiful enough, that you would... do what is right and leave him if you are unable to give him children?"

Unfolding the fan completely, it was raised to fan gently near his face, though as his eyes stole a glance at her sidelong, it became still, providing a barrier between he and Eolyn so that she could not see much of his expression. His eyes alone peered beyond it's broad, rounded edge.

"I'm sorry to refresh the trouble in your mind, as I know what unrest your own heart must already feel; but Rihan will not speak of it to you, and if not him, then someone must. I suspect it won't be long before either of your parents begin showing concerns of their own. It would be only natural. After all, your brother already has one Heir, though illegitimate, and he's not even married yet."

Continuing to gauge Eolyn's expression as he pried her through varying levels of taunts and truths. He was quiet then, and continued fanning himself idly, having nothing more to say for the moment.




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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Thu Jan 08, 2015 9:21 pm

The herbs she had in her basket already were things the Infirmary had mentioned needing recently. While she could have sent someone else to get them, the familiarty of the plants made everything around her seem less hectic. The whispers and rumors and looks of curiousity were enough to make anyone crazy but the Lady of Telgar River Hold was sensitive on top of all of that.

Eolyn was used to a certain amount of bullying from being raised with her brother Zahir, so though Kazage had come to see her in the guise of being a helpful Steward, she knew differently. Like she always had to do with Zahir, she had to not rise to the bait as much as possible. Eolyn didn't particularly like conflict.

Kazage's voice alone set the hair on her skin on end, she tensed very slightly but tried to act as if his presence were not unexpected or unwanted, though it might very well be that she was thinking both.  Hiding her grief would be pointless at this time and really, it didn't seem to bother Kazage if he said something insulting or rude to her so why should it matter if she were not the perfect lady right now and hide her emotions in order to please the people around her.

Indeed, it seemed rather soon after he had begun speaking he was going on a tirade against her. Caught off guard by the forwardness of his remarks, she didn't say anything or act at all surprised. As usual her generous spirit was at work as she tried to convince herself he truly did care about Telgar. However, it would have been nice to be given the same consideration.

Had she ever given him the impression that she didn't want the best for Telgar or that she would want someone other than Rihan to take over in his father's place when he passed? She thought she had been supportive enough of Rihan that anyone would know how much she wanted his success. She didn't need to explain herself to a Steward either.

It was probably for the best that Eolyn was focusing on cutting the herbs she needed and acting like she was only half interested in anything Kazage had to say. But she was listening better than he might notice and she wasn't at all happy about it.

When he seemed to have finished, she put another handful of herbs in her basket and set her cutters down in the basket as well. "For an unmarried man, you certainly feel confident in the advice you give." She knew how her husband felt, better than anyone and if for an instant, she had forgotten how depressing their situation was, then it certainly would be brought up again the moment she left to forget about it.

"Do not for one second think I don't care more for Rihan's future than anyone else here." She'd already been coming up with plans, ideas for how she could convince her husband she should leave him. She couldn't remain with him knowing he would need to bed other women, it would crush her. She'd thought about that too, how he would never even suggest it unless pushed to and she was waiting for the day that happened. When he felt he needed to have offspring more than the desire to be only with her above all women, then she would leave him because then she would know he needed children more than he needed her love.

"Yes, my brother has a bastard whom he will never have anything to do with and who only lives by the grace of my husband." She added, thinking that perhaps her brother was one of the worst examples of a parent in the world and that Rihan would be far better.

She'd never really felt comfortable around Kazage and conversations like this one only made her feel less comfortable. She didn't trust him, she didn't like him around Rihan and certainly didn't like the ambitious grasping nature of the man. "If that is all, Steward, I'm going in..." Away from him.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:23 pm

The former Exile did not try to interrupt her. Rather, he was quite interested in what she would say. So, as Eolyn spoke, he listened intently. And when she felt she had said her piece and would leave him to return to the Hold, Kazage's angular, squinting eyes peered back at her from beyond the waving yellow fan with some interest. That impenetrable gaze of his had been hard to read through much of what she said.  

"Believe it or not, sweet Lady Eolyn, though you may have no great liking of me, I have only ever wanted what is best for Telgar. Whether you like it or not, that is the truth, and that gives the two of us something in common." Within the low caress of the Steward's voice, there was no sign of distaste or ire; it was clear that he believed what he said. That may not have made it any may not have made it any more pleasant for her however, listening to him. Likely, the honey-smooth tone was just as sour to her as any other time that he spoke, no matter how he did so, considering how much she disliked him.

"Unfortunately perhaps, either one of us being married or not does not keep us from Knowing what the correct course of action is, in order to do what is best for the Hold. If it made for a better Telgar, I would have it that you and Rihan were together happily, forever. I cannot help what is best for the Hold, though. You must know as well as I do."


In the next moment, Kazage's fan hand slowly fell, drawing the implement partially closed at his side so that she could read his expression clearly. Though just as straight faced as per usual, there was a strange, deep sense of solemnity about him when he spoke up again. Averting his eyes at the same time, it was as if what he would say came with hesitance.

"I find myself in envy of him. Rihan, that is. Since our first meeting, I envied him; but not for his power and position."

Those words were left hanging without further insight, but those words alone implied plenty enough on their own. He would leave her to decipher exactly what was meant by it.

Cooly starting up again, he left her with this,  "If your plan is to do what is right, come to me when you are ready. I can help you."


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Jan 11, 2015 8:38 am

They might want the best for Telgar but for Eolyn it went beyond that. She truly wanted what was best for Rihan because she loved him more than she ever thought to love anyone. It killed her to know that he might suffer because of her or that the things he wanted most in life would be denied to him because of her. She couldn't let that happen and wouldn't. Kazage wasn't saying anything to her that she had not thought of already, he was out of line to speak to her in such a way. It was for Rihan to decide what was best for Telgar.

While Eolyn knew from the time she was little that her job was to provide children for her husband she didn't know if Rihan felt that was her worth. She knew he loved her but if she couldn't give him what he needed, love could be a poor substitute. He might grow to resent her and their love would wither and die.

I'm more aware and better equipped to deal with this than you give me credit for. The young lady thought to herself. She didn't really want to give Kazage any more reason than anyone else to suspect she might leave or where she would go. He might think that now, he could be helpful but when Rihan found her missing would he truly be able to keep the secret of her whereabouts? Eolyn did not think so. No one would know and if no one knew where she was then eventually Rihan would have no choice but to stop looking for her. It broke her heart just thinking about it. Kazage having never been in love, couldn't even begin to understand the pain this would cause both herself and Rihan.

She started to question if her jealousy was worth leaving? She could still have him and raise someone else's child as theirs. But knowing he had to count on others to give him something she could not give him would leave a sour place in her heart and that would grow as he would love his children and she would become bitter and jealous of the children. She wasn't a big enough person to watch that happen in front of her and she couldn't see their love surviving if she began to feel that way.

"If you do not envy his position and power, what else would you want that is his?" as sweet as Eolyn might be, she had never been considered the critical thinker in her family. She was usually one step behind people like Kazage who were plotters and planners, always looking for ways to get ahead in life.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:28 am

It was true. Kazage had no real idea just how far the Lady Holder of Telgar River Hold had considered her present circumstances. There was no road for him to knkow that she had already thought all of it through. In fact, Kazage would have been surprised to know that she had already considered leaving, and even applauded her for considering the courageous move should he have known about it. But that wasn't the case.

Had he known these things, it would be easy to expression his understanding of her situation, and promote his sympathy for her. In a way, encouraging her to leave was just one method of passive retaliation  for living as an Exile up until now. His side of the family had suffered living as outcasts for generations, having been forced to abandon their former way of life long ago, and now, with Eolyn on the brink of walking away from Rihan, Kazage thought that they would all now know more keenly what it was like -being separated from one's family and not knowing what the next day would bring. The tables could always turn. Life was full of uncertainties.

If it happened then, that Eolyn did leave Rihan, Kazage would take time to relish it for his many reasons, hoping that it vindicated him in the future, once Rihan realized what was good for him -what was good for Telgar.


Kazage, perhaps seeming a little thoughtful in that moment, regarded Eolyn with eyes that had softened, perhaps both in sympathy and in painful introspection.

"Dear Lady, with your big heart, you should know there is more in life to be appreciated than power and position alone. Rihan is a talented man with incredible charisma that people can love. He also has someone like you, in his life, who loves him enough to do anything for him.

"For me, any who shared that kind of love long ago passed away. My sister. My mother. My father." Breathing a pause into his words, Kazage did not give her an opening to respond quite yet, but he had to wonder if, similarly to the fact that he had never been married or fallen in love, had Eolyn ever been without those around her who could love and support her?

"Coming here, achieving at least a measure of what I had hoped, I thought that Rihan and I were the same. I thought that if one day I become a Holder in my own right and was brought back into the family it would be no different having myself or Rihan stand in that place. However, the more I get to know him, the more I realize we are not the same. Cannot be the same, even though we share many similar traits."

Similar traits perhaps, but the way in which they manifested themselves in each man were quite different. So, Kazage went on to point out, "Maybe I should never have tried to compare us. In doing so, all I have learned is that next to Rihan, I am but his antithesis."


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:43 am

Eolyn almost felt bad for the ex-exile. She had felt the sting of being far from her family and support system. Some days when she felt at her lowest she imagined visiting Igen and seeing them all, even Zahir who she normally would prefer to avoid. The difference of course being that her family was still alive, she couldn't imagine not having a glimmer of hope at seeing her loved ones again. As much as she loved Rihan, parents and siblings had a special place in ones heart.

"Finding people to love you is not so hard as you might think. Sometimes in order to receive love, you have to be willing to be vulnerable first and give your own love, knowing that you could be hurt and that things might not work out the way you hope they will." She might have been loved for her entire life but as he pointed out, she had a big heart and just perhaps people loved her because she loved them.

She waited a moment before adding, "If you are looking for a wife, you really should talk to Rihan and myself, together. We can probably help find some connections that wouldn't be abhorrent to you." Lord Qisbon, her father had written her recently about being on the lookout for someone for her sister, not that she was offering her sister up just yet. "I have a younger sister not yet married and there are other Holders who might have daughters who would suit."

Eolyn didn't see how having a wife might make him more of a threat to Rihan's ascension to Lord Holder. She saw only his desire for family and not his concurrent desire for power and how they would go hand in hand.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Thu Jan 15, 2015 8:57 pm

When Eolyn first started, going on about how she found it certainly had to be easier than he made it, finding someone to love and all. Of course, the trick then, was making them love you in return. He wasn't quite convinced of her words, especially if he had to pretend to be vulnerable in the process. He didn't remember ever having to be that way around his family -in fact, circumstance during his upbringing usually had him proving his strengths more than anything. And once he'd proven his strengths others simply fell into line and respected him. Though, that kind of loyalty couldn't necessarily be equated with love.

Not that Kazage thought he was incapable of finding love or giving others cause to love him. But he wasn't sure that it was as simple as she wanted it to be. At least,... not for someone like him. The stigma of having once been an exile was enough to make some people hate him, even without knowing him. For that reason, and for the reason that he did not perceive humans in such an optimistic light in general, he wasn't planning on keeping his hopes up.


Kazage's eyebrows lifted in an expression of surprise then. She was offering to help him? He was sure though, that there would be some stipulation she had yet to give him. And if she had none, then Rihan would use it as leverage to gain concession on something of his own desire. Still, it made him curious, and former Exile was enjoyed such games. Rihan did, too.

"You would help me?" Kazage almost scoffed, finding it hard to believe; because no one wanted to help an Exile. Then again, Eolyn had proven many times just how generous her heart could be, and for that reason, did not doubt her words just then.

"You are truly charitable." With a coy smile pulling at the corners of the man's thin lips, the words could have possibly been understood as mocking, but his tone did not share that sentiment. He was simply amused. "I have already looked into a number of possible marriageable young ladies, but not yet pursued any of them. If it interests you to know, I have been waiting for my situation to better, and my position here to become permanent in some sense. I would make a poor husband indeed if I could not rightly support my own family; and that is what I intend to do."

Offering a brief gesture toward her of his fan-hand, he went on, "If it were your sister in consideration, things might be different. Not that I wouldn't continue on the same path that I am on, but the possibility of... a companion... would be all the more near. And perhaps the wait to marry would not be in such a distant future." Being married into a family of such influence might also help secure his own place here in Telgar. After all, if he did manage marrying someone like the daughter of the Igen Holder, the Qisbon would certainly only want the best for his daughter, which would mean ensuring that he himself at least remained Steward to a Major Hold -if not a Holder in his own right at some point. Likewise though, if Kazage did not prove himself trustworthy to Rihan, he was certain that his cousin would not risk marrying his wife's sister to someone that could not prove reliable. Not just in the sense of caring for her appropriately, but in the sense that it would put his relationship and politics between Telgar and Igen on rocky ground again. And Rihan had just managed to ensure peaceful relations between the two territories. There was little that could make Rihan want to jeopardize that.

Not to mention, he had other worries on his hands. Avoiding more of them would be ideal.


Suddenly, probably unexpectedly, and for once with some genuine humility in light of her consideration of him, Kazage bowed his head to the Lady Eolyn. Considering that he was a very proud man who was truly driven by his own sense of entitlement, it was no small gesture.

Eyes returning to her even before his head raised, the yellow fan in his hand opened to bathe himself idly again in cool autumn air.

"If you are truly willing to take me into consideration then, I will take you up on that offer."

Eolyn did owe him her life, anyway. He had saved her once, nearly two turns ago, so when he really thought about it, it was only right that at some point she should return the favour in some way. If one were to ask him, it would be enough repayment just helping to arrange the marriage between he and her sister. If that happened, he would consider the debt paid.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:59 pm

While she was sure Rihan was making Kazage work his way up on purpose, she knew there had to be a plan for the exile. Maybe she could talk to her husband on Kazage’s behalf. Part of her wondered why she cared so much. Kazage wasn’t her family and he was often trying to get inside her head, so that she would do things she didn’t necessarily want to do. But he was Rihan’s family and he had saved her life.

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to be someone whom Rihan could count on to look into these matters. Yes, a discussion with her husband about marrying off his cousin would be a good thing. It wasn’t as if her sister would be the only one considered but it might be a good idea anyway in the long run.

Though he might not have thought of her as being sincere at first he seemed to come around. The young woman knew he was letting her offer sink in. Eolyn took the offer quite seriously. From what she knew of Kazage and how proud he was the daughter of a Lord Holder was a good prospect for him.

“I cannot promise anything until I speak to Rihan and my father but there is no reason for them not to consider.” He was of the bloodline which was what truly mattered in the end.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:34 pm

The lanky man stood there for a moment, seeming to contemplate her words, though he seemed to have nothing more to say to Eolyn at that point. His bright yellow hand fan came up, shielding the expression of anything but his eyes before it started fanning again, out of idleness. 

"Mmmmm." It was a thoughtful noise uttered first, as he deliberated, but then took a step aside, turning himself back on course to return to the settlement. 

"I'll leave you to it, then. I entrust you will let me know when you've had the chance to speak to Lord Rihan about it."

Kazage needn't say more than that; their exchange of words had been more than sufficient for his purpose. And the woman's words had also left him with more to think about, while he waited for her to speak to his (yet unofficial) cousin on his own behalf. He thought that that seemed an unlikely thing in some ways, but if she was willing, it certainly thrilled him to think that she would do so. 

"If you'll excuse me then..."  Offering an inclination of his head her way, the Steward started away.





<<<<<<>>>>>>

At the same time, Rihan was making his way to the kitchen, deciding to stretch his legs and get a little bite to eat after dispensing of the few visitors to his office that he'd already had come in that day. There was a faint shimmer in his silvery eyes, though it may have been difficult to make out exactly what brought it there -if it were still sadness, remnant from the loss of another child. But regardless, the man was resilient, and with an ever-stoic bearing, did not look less the part of the upstanding Holder he'd proven to be these last few short turns since Telgar River Hold's construction.

"Maybe some bubbly pie. Just a bite. I'll need some energy before going into my next meeting. Today seems full of them." The Holder smiled at the kitchen drudges who greeted him with bows and words appropriate for the occasion, then hurrying to fulfill his order.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Jan 25, 2015 4:36 pm

Eolyn watched the exile turned Steward as he made his exit. He was right, there was nothing more they had to say to one another. She spent a moment collecting herself and making sure the herbs she had gathered were well separated.

Entering the main hall, a drudge immediately took her cloak and gloves while another took the herbs she had gathered to the storage room. Shaking her hair out since it had been hidden under her hood, she put on the smile she wore daily in order to keep everyone else from thinking she was at all troubled. If she did it enough maybe she would believe it.

Her stomach told her it was time for a snack. She didn't know where Rihan would be when she walked into the kitchens but didn't let any of the cooks indicate her presence when she walked up behind him and hugged him to her. The fake smile from earlier was gone as she felt the truest joy whenever she saw Rihan. It was so clear to anyone who had ever known her just how completely happy he made her.

"Mmm, you are warm." She said softly before making herself let go. Eolyn never would press him about anything if he were taking a break. "I just came in to have a snack." She explained as she came to stand beside him.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:28 pm

Surprised to feel a woman's thin arms curl around him, Rihan very quickly recognized the touch. Eolyn always brought a smile to his face, and so feeling her against him so sweetly now, was enough to give rise to that very expression. 

The Holder's hand fell to rest on hers, where she held onto him, until her own arms relaxed and he could turn to face her. There, Rihan smiled on his wife, knowing that both of them could only smile this way for one another. 

"I am warm because as long as you are here, the sun shines on me always." 

Rihan's own arm slid about Eolyn's waist then, drawing her against him, at his side. "Mmm. I have come for something sweet, myself. Though I found you here, I already have asked for some bubbly pie, which I found out, was supposed to be fresh for after dinner, tonight. But, I think we should definitely enjoy our fill of it now, before we fill our stomachs with anything else."

Eyes looking down on her, Rihan wondered aloud, "I suspect you would share some with me?"


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:47 am

Being lovingly doted upon was nothing short of wonderful in her eyes. Eolyn was as usual, completely oblivious to anything but her husband once he was with her. She couldn't help but feel better when he was around. Not once had he looked at her in a way that made her feel inadequate. She didn't feel he blamed her for anything even if she blamed herself.

Nestled against her tall husband's side, she quirked her head to the side to look up at him, "I'd like that." She said, "So long as you are willing to share." He would tell her if he were busy or didn't have time, she hoped. She didn't want to keep him from anything important.

"Actually, if you have time to sit and eat with me, I would like to talk to you about something. It isn't overly important so if you have other things to attend to, we can talk about it later." Although she would much rather not talk about this later because it might make things a bit awkward right before bed. Especially the reason of the discussion being someone she didn't particularly care for.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:03 pm

"Mmmm. Now that you mention it, sharing might be dependent on just how delicious the pie turns out to be."

Pausing to wonder what might have Eolyn wanting an audience with him, Rihan gave her a nod of acquiescence. Truly, if there was a matter important to her, it would be important to him; so if she needed to talk, he would make time for it.

Of course, Rihan was of the belief that if a man could not keep his family matters in order and under control, then how could he rightly be expected to do well in other business, like managing the Hold? For Rihan, he would always put his wife first, for that reason -if not simply because it was so obvious that he loved her. So, though he did keep himself busy, which kept their private time together somewhat limited, it was rare that he would put her off if she expressed a need for anything from him. He was also of the belief that he set the precedence for the kind of respect that others would treat her with as well. If he did not value the Lady Holder in the utmost, then how could they?

Eolyn was his everything. She should be viewed in the same way by others.

"We could take the bubbly pie with us, so that we can talk and treat." The holder only ever made such suggestions around his wife. But it would just be the two of them, and it was okay for them to enjoy some dessert before dinner, over such a talk. In Rihan's mind however, it would never have been appropriate with anyone else.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:22 pm



The Lady, beyond pleased that her husband wanted to take time with her, "Lets do that." She agreed. Hoping that she hadn't made him worried with her request. Eolyn rarely asked to speak with her husband when she knew he was busy with Hold business.

Right now though, she knew he had time to talk to her. He would always clear his schedule for her if she wished it to be so, but she never wanted to inconvenience him. Her own needs always seemed secondary to his in her thoughts.

"If you can truly spare the time. It isn't urgent." She didn't want to do anything to make his day more difficult but if he was sure he had the time to spare then they should talk. They should probably be talking about the one thing she wasn't prepared to talk to him about right then. Her thoughts were diverted by marriage options for Kazage. It would give them something to consider other than the recent loss of another child.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:35 pm

The Holder said no more, simply ignoring the fact that she tried to off put her own concerns in case he should have more pressing matters to attend to. There was little at the moment that could be considered more important than enjoying bubbly fruit pie with his wife. 

The cook came back with their dessert, having portioned out enough for two off of one plate, so Rihan took up two forks and after thanking the woman, led them from the kitchen. 

"Follow me, my Lady. Let me hear what it is that you have to say."

Rihan was smiling while in her presence, simply glad that she didn't seem too overcome by grief any longer, that she was unable to smile at all. At least around one another they could feel happy and at ease.

When they arrived at the Holder's private study, Rihan set their plate on the round, leather-topped table there, bringing the chairs closer to one another so that they could share. Moving everything else aside, Rihan gestured for her to sit with him. 

"What troubles the Sun so much that it dims in the sky? Should the Light of Telgar dim, nights would grow long indeed; and when the Sun's face is turned away, there is not even light reflected in the moons. The world would be a truly dark place. I would be terribly remiss if I did not ensure that the Sun shines on Telgar so that there is always light and the people may always be happy. So, tell me what is on your mind, oh glorious Light of mine."


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sun Mar 01, 2015 4:13 pm

When they made it to the study, she sat next to him, waiting for the opportunity to tell him about her conversation with Kazage. Everything was forgotten though for a brief moment while she listened to her love. Rihan's poetic words had her blushing. He was such a master at words in a way that she never had been. If anyone were to ask her, she would say her husband was the most romantic man in all of Pern.

"I was speaking with Steward Kazage." She said to start, knowing that would probably bother him as much as it troubled her most of the time. It was no secret that the man made her uncomfortable since her kidnapping. For good reason of course. The entire conversation was not something she was willing to speak of to Rihan, not when she knew he would never even think of letting her leave him. Not for anything and it was because he loved her so much that she even contemplated it herself. If she were stronger, she might just kill herself instead, she knew enough about poison to do it, but she never would be able to do so. Not when she knew her death would be worse than leaving him, because at least then he would know she was alive.

"You know he and I don't often agree." Eolyn added, taking a small piece of the pie onto her fork before bringing it to her mouth. She was going slowly on purpose allowing Rihan a moment to think about what the conversation may have to do with. "He should be married, don't you think?" A wife would keep him in their debt, if they arranged it and he would then be able to focus on something other than his rights in Telgar.

"My father mentioned to me in his last correspondence that my sister is also looking for a husband. And if your father intends on legitimizing Kazage's claim, it could be good for both Igen and Telgar for him to marry someone of higher rank..." Though she doubted he saw her sister as ranking higher than he. Still she was the daughter of a Lord Holder and not someone who would be beneath any man to marry. She was only concerned that her sister might not take it so well because Kazage was not Rihan and would not be Lord Holder at any time. However, Eolyn liked to think Rihan might leave Telgar River Hold in Kazage's care when he became Lord Holder. And she knew her sister would love Telgar River Hold as she did.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:02 am

Rihan's listened to his wife's words intently, continuing to eat off the slices of pie between them. His brows raised though, when she brought up the matter of Kazage's marriage. He'd seen in the past that the man made Eolyn uneasy, and that even still, she must have been walking on eggshells around him, even if she didn't let onto it. He knew that Eolyn could be strong and limn with courage in the face of adversity, but inside she could be sensitive and in truth, needed her husband to be there to protect her. But, those were all things that made her a beautiful person worthy of the Blood. They were amoungst some of the many reasons he loved her so dearly.

Bringing his elbows to the table to lean over them, Rihan took no haste in appreciating the bite that he'd just taken from his fork before answering. Of course, in that time, he looked to be quite intrigued by her mention of such a thing. He had no doubts that Eolyn was smart and knew her fair share about the politics of things, but he had never really taken her for one who took an interest in the intricacies of that playing field. Thus, he couldn't help from being a bit surprised that she'd thought to pair her sister with their Steward. And not just any Steward. Eolyn was suggesting Kazage.

She could have mentioned marrying her sister to Drien, his other cousin, who might have seemed the better match only, instead of doing that, she had thought of one of the men she probably hated most. Because she'd done so, Rihan was silent in consideration of those things as he extended his arm across the table again, for another bite of the delectable dessert there. He had to wonder just how much she'd thought this through, and what her intention was. It was hard for him to imagine why she would suggest such a marriage given her dislike for Kazage. So, there must be something else.

Rihan then, fabricated his own plausible answers to that question, letting on no expression that would have given away his own thoughts on the matter. Though, seconds later, he was musing aloud.

"If that is what my father intends to do, then it would probably do Kazage as much good to be married as it would to be formally legitimized again." And they could put off the wedding until whenever happened to be the most opportune timing for their own interests. Though, it may take a little convincing to get the Igen Lord Qisbon to go along with it, surely with Matoi and Rihan's assurances, there would be far less reservation about the marriage arrangement between his daughter and Kazage, than there would be between Kazage and any other holder. Qisbon was in a position where he had to trust Telgar's judgement on certain things -and vice versa. Their relationship was a precarious balance of necessary trust and negotiation for the sake of self-interest.

"Kazage still has a little more time before he's fulfilled his probationary period as the Steward of the Settlement. At that time, my father will decide what to do. So, if there is some reason you feel inclined to have the two of them betrothed, perhaps we can arrange that Kazage's betrothal be a stipulation attached to his legitimization. If he wants to become part of the family again, he will be forced to marry your sister and keep her happy. Though, I'm sure that a marriage is something that he wants, in order to further legitimize his claims, anyway."

Looking up from the table where he'd been staring off as he rambled on in thought, Rihan met Eolyn's eyes; his own silvery oculars shown suddenly concerned.

"Kazage didn't say anything to influence you, did he? He didn't threaten you?" Because somehow, he wondered if this mention of marriage had all been partly Kazage's doing. Still, he doubted that Eolyn would have stood for being bullied in her own hold, even if the Steward made her feel uneasy.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Mar 14, 2015 11:14 am

Eolyn did not take his initial silence as good or bad. Like so many people in powerful positions it was his habit to think about something thoroughly before coming up with an answer. As usual though, it did not take him long to think some things through. While he mused aloud, she took a bite of the pie, enjoying the sweet taste of the pie. The pair of them didn't indulge as often as they could as was evident in their savoring of the bubbly pie.

She did not expect that it should be a stipulation of his being legitimized. However maybe if he was suggesting Kazage would be permitted an honor of that kind contingent upon his becoming legitimized then it made sense to her. After all, her sister, while the youngest, was still a young Lady and had plenty of time to find a worthy suitor. Eolyn had thought this might actually work more in Telgar's favor in general.

"I was thinking it might bridge some of the mistrust between he and I. Perhaps it might also create a certain amount of loyalty and support from him toward both of us?" To have engineered a marriage contract that would be desirable even to a Lord Holder's son, should come with a certain amount of support. Even if Kazage might not feel they deserved it as much as they probably did. If anything, Eolyn acted in spite of her animosity toward the Steward, in the hopes that her own feelings didn't interfere with Telgar Hold.

As to his threatening her, she looked up at Rihan. No of course he would never threaten about that. There were other things discussed which might have come across as threats. "He and I discussed other things that weren't as pleasant." Eolyn did not feel the need to trouble him over those things, especially considering she was afraid he might see through her concerns about the other topics discussed. And she didn't need to say there were threatening comments made in regards to those things, Rihan would be able to see she wasn't going to lie to him but that she didn't want to discuss those things.

"I promise you it was my thought and not his. He could not have known that my sister was available. My father has only just written me about it. He hasn't even actively engaged anyone in talks about it yet. He wanted me to keep my eyes and ears open." She reassured her husband.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Mar 14, 2015 12:05 pm

Impressed that Eolyn had thought things through so thoroughly then, Rihan watched his wife where she sat, enjoying their shared treat. The things she said made sense to him, and he saw no reason why they shouldn't encourage such a marriage. There would be little reason to fear her sister's being treated poorly if Kazage's reinstatement depended on his treating her well. And if there was one word of any real abuse, it may as well be over for him. Of course, that didn't mean that Eolyn's sister was going to fully approve of their marriage right away, but marriages didn't always include love at first. That was something that would come with time as they got to know one another. Hopefully.


Eyes growing dark as his wife mentioned less pleasant topics of conversation, Rihan was clearly feeling less amiable just then.

"Should I speak to Kazage on your behalf? If he speaks out of line, I should not stand for it."

Surely, he could be assuaged by her assurances that it had been her idea, the pairing of her sister with the Steward, but these 'less pleasant' things she failed to mention in detail bothered him just as much. He didn't feel as though he should pry into those things though, unnecessarily, if there were reasons she didn't bring them up. Those things might just have been inconsequential, so she didn't give them weight enough to want to discuss them. In any case, he gave her her privacy and solidarity where she needed it; and this was one of those times he felt the need to respect that.

He felt it unlike her to discuss things openly with him though, that were of importance to her, so if she refused his involvement in the matter, he'd just need to accept the fact that some things were better left without his direct involvement. He'd have to trust Eolyn to bring it up to him if he could help her in some way.

After a pause, Rihan went on, "As long as Kazage is acting within respectable limitations, I don't mind one of us writing Lord Qisbon to make the suggestion to him."


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:17 pm

Smiling at him, "I think I made myself clear to him." Eolyn said reassuring her husband. She loved that he would protect her from anyone that would trouble her but sometimes she felt inadequate if she couldn't handle things herself. She was a Lady and she was going to be Lady Holder someday, if her body cooperated. "He simply isn't afraid to speak what other people merely think in my presence. It isn't anything I can not handle." For now.

Eolyn would never allow the love of her life to be denied his proper place as Lord Holder of Telgar. Anyone who thought she would keep him from that destiny clearly didn't understand the depth of her feeling for him. If she continued to have trouble carrying children, then she was going to have to make a decision, for now though, she could enjoy the loving relationship they had. She took another piece of the pie into her mouth.

After the pause from her eating, "I can write my father first, if you would like." After she broached the topic with him, then it would be up to the men to work out the details. Surely though it would be nice for her sister to be nearby for a while. Courisse would love it too. This type of arrangement was normal, except for Kazage's strange background but if he were reinstated as a member of the Telgar Hold family, then he would need her sister to strengthen his claim.



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:42 pm

Setting his jaw sternly, Rihan exhaled in a way that expressed his inability to completely forget whatever incident had occurred between Eolyn and Kazage, but at the same time, he was trusting in her judgement of the situation. He was simply afraid that she was being too forgiving.

In any case, it was interesting to hear Eolyn's admission that Kazage hadn't necessarily spoken out of line, he merely said that which most people felt too uncomfortable saying. Or perhaps would never dare say aloud in the presence of a Lord Holder and his Lady -or anyone else closely associated with them. Though Kazage himself, we now 'closely associated', so there was even less reason perhaps, for him to refrain from speaking his mind in their presence, unless it would damage his position.

Of course, perhaps in some ways it was good to have an 'earnest' man around who wasn't afraid to say what no one else would. Rihan may be able to use that to his advantage in the future.

Anyway, Rihan's eyes were on Eolyn again as she offered to warm her father up to the idea of a betrothal between her sister and the Steward.

Rihan was nodding then, acting agreeably in regards to the things that she had said. "If you would like, I'm sure he would accept the suggestion more favourably at first, if coming from his daughter." And with that said, he wasn't sure that he needed to make any suggestions on how she should approach the topic with her father, because if anything, Eolyn would know best.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Mon Apr 13, 2015 5:08 pm

Rihan was probably right to think she was too forgiving but in some ways she had never really been forgiving toward Kazage. Even Rihan knew Eolyn's mistrust toward the once exiled Steward. Now though, she was determined to make him their friend and ally even if it meant giving him what he desired.

Smiling as he acquiesced, "Father will be glad to hear from me." regardless of what topic she brought up. It was hard for anyone in her family not to give in to her wishes. Not because she demanded things be done her way but because of her deeply sensitive nature. Everyone in her life seemed to want to give her what she desired. It was almost criminal that she could get away with anything she wanted. However, she had earned their trust because she never did anything that would make anyone in her life concerned about her judgment.

Frowning only for the briefest moment as she looked down at her hands, obviously thinking of something unpleasant, she quickly recovered and looked back over at her husband. The saying, what he didn't know would not hurt him, came to mind. She had other letters to write to Igen as well and none of them were going to be as cheery as an engagement would be.




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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:46 pm

Rihan still didn't think he fully understood his wife's willingness to act so benevolently toward Exile, though if things did pan out as well as they could hope then perhaps it was also one more step toward gaining the complete trust of the holdless who now resided within the Settlement. It was well known that there was still an attitude of suspicion amoungst them -and between the citizens of Telgar River Hold and their new neighbors- so it may do them a measure of good to give them reason to feel as though the Hold was placing more favour in them. No one needed to know Kazage's true identity as a former family of the Blood of Telgar. Making Kazage family then, even if only by marriage through Eolyn's sister, would be a shock to many; either pleasant or abhorrent.

Taking another nibble at the pie on his fork, Eolyn's words were not lost on him though Rihan sat in silence a moment longer.

"Well,... I will rely on you then, in this matter. Please let me know as soon as you've heard back from Lord Qisbon, so that if there is anything I can do to further the negotiations, I can do so right away."

His silence may have spoken loudly of the fact that he was already thinking more deeply on the matter of Kazage's marriage to her sister. Certainly he would not let any opportunity to utilize the situation to their benefit pass them by without first being fully exploited.

Rihan grinned then, playfully stabbing his fork onto the plate to block her own from claiming any more of the dessert yet to be eaten. "Hmmm? You think I'm going to let you off that lightly? Deciding who gets to enjoy the last of the pie may call for a duel. On guard!"

It was all an obvious tease. One of those rare moments when Rihan let himself become fully at ease in her presence, acting in a manner that few had ever witnessed. Perhaps it was a side of himself that he should expose more frequently, but putting on a serious face was his terrible habit. And he was all too serious most of the time -even when relaxed.


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PostSubject: Re: Dreams fade (open)   Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:57 pm



She didn't like keeping things from him but she knew that he would never allow her to even think of leaving him. Even if he knew she was doing it for the right reasons. He would talk her out of it because he was the only one who could. For now, until the pressure became too much for their marriage to sustain itself on just their love for each other, she would not make any move to leave. Eolyn was simply going over her options if that day should come.

Nodding, "Of course. I will let you know as soon as I get a response." Her father would take some time, more than likely, to think about it. Then he would have to broach the topic with her little sister, who was bound to be against any marriage until she met the man. If her sister was as stubborn as she used to be then Kazage might not be thanking her later.

Rihan would not know of her sister's nature though and like anyone working on matching up family for the betterment of their Hold, he was more concerned with how it would affect Hold relations. Eolyn did hope though that if the marriage did come to be that her sister would be happy. (She could really care less if Kazage were happy)

As she moved her fork to get more of the pie, her husband was suddenly playfully guarding it. Laughing, "Oh so you think you can win a duel against me?" Because even if he won, he'd lose, he might as well face it. The last of the pie would be hers, if she so desired. Her blue eyes were dancing in amusement as she used her own fork against his.

Certainly she wasn't as strong as Rihan but she was as playful. It was always a pleasant surprise when he was playful around her. She loved him even when he was serious but times like these were precious because he shared this part of himself with so few people. Eolyn could see him being this way with his children and she fought back the thought that she might not be around to see it.


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